Brody….

We had our first parent-teacher conference with Brody’s teacher yesterday.  As parents I am not sure what we were expecting. We’ve had conferences with teachers before, but kindergarten is very different than Grade One (oh sorry, First Grade). Miss Delmy (kindergarten teacher) and Brody had a very close relationship, Brody adored her and vice versa. She knew she could count on Brody to help with the other students or to refill the stapler – pretty much anything in the classroom.  In Brody’s school right now, he is in a class with Second and Third grade students and is low man on the totem pole (so to speak). Academically, Miss Sharon says he’s doing great but he’s having some adjustment issues.

Brody… the boy who was made for the montessori system of learning is having adjustment issues. Apparently he wanders around the classroom like he’s lost and doesn’t know how to focus. Miss Sharon says he loves to make announcements in the class, loves to be the helper – so then why doesn’t she facilitate more opportunities for him to be the helper? Because there are 39 students and 2 teachers. He is used to 1 teacher and 8-10 students. He’s the little fish in the big pond and I get understand where he’s coming from.  I know he’s adjusting to a new situation and I’ve got to give the kid a break… he’s had to deal with a lot of change this past year.  His dad and I no longer live in the same house, his grandfather died, he started in first grade in a new school with new people… That is a lot for anyone, let alone a 6 year old. I have to remind myself that he is only 6 years old.

Miss Sharon is confident that she and the other teacher can help Brody move towards positive behaviour and she is encouraging us to focus on his positive behaviours rather than negative. The thing is, Brody is very smart and knows exactly what he’s doing – he doesn’t need to act out at home because he gets a lot of attention from me and his dad. At school… well, I think he feels he’s lost in the shuffle of children.

The weekend yo

I had a dinner party this past weekend. It turned out really good and I think everyone had a great time. The best part? I was the only woman! Way to increase my odds!  heh heh

Seriously, everyone knows I have some really great girlfriends (most of them live somewhere else, but I have a few who live close) - but I tend to make friends with guys (they are way easier and take less time to get ready). It’s been that way my entire life and I haven’t quite yet figured it out. I’m sure some of my girlfriends know the answer. Anyway, I’m not complaining, in fact, I like that I can hang with guys and be comfortable and relaxed.

Brody loves to entertain. That kid is going to be an event planner! He loves the idea of people coming over and loves to help. He doesn’t like to help with actual work, but he will “help” with entertaining. On Saturday night he made everyone sit in their chairs so he could show them rocks he’d collected. A big hit with the guys!

It’s been hard adjusting to single life – there are parts that are very easy. Then there are parts that totally suck. Preparing for a dinner party on your own is one of the sucky parts.  Fortunately for me, one of my friends ROCKS in the kitchen and he whipped up some amazing appy’s. We had delicious fresh oysters with some concoction Louisiana Joe whipped up as a topping to the oysters (a BIG shout out to Joe for shuckin em too!), Bryan made some delicious cheesy garlic bread (fortunately he made too much so I had it for lunch the next day) and the best salad I have ever eaten. I made ricotta stuffed manicotti and a pork roast. Oh and did I mention the margaritas? Yowzers!!  I did a bottle count the next day and those boys could drink some beers!

Seriously, one of the best nights I’ve had in a long time. It was great to sit around the firepit in the backyard and talk shit. I’m still trying to convince Jason to learn this (NSFW) so he can teach me and we can be the oldest white people on the planet doing the crip walk.

The day the universe was against me…

Today was the first day of school for everyone in this house.

Brody started first grade.

Evan started kindergarten.

Mommy started the last two classes of her associate’s degree.

No picture

We woke up late. Well, really, who wouldn’t? With all the partying we do up in here. I think the entire household was asleep by 9:20 last night.

Evan and Brody didn’t want to wake up. It took 4 trips to their bedroom before either of them stirred. It was a gorgeous morning – boiling hot this entire weekend, but the morning was cool. The kind of morning where you didn’t want to get out of bed because you are so cozy in your blankie.

For the love of god, no one could comb their own hair!

Breakfast… whatev… no one needed it!  Until it was the last minute and I’m shoving a bagel down their throats.

Lunches… usually made the night before. Made with love and thought to nutrition and the energy they’d be expending. The fuel to feed their bodies … neglected in favor of sleep. Rushed the morning of the first day of school (how could I be so silly to think I could wake them, dress them, feed them AND make lunches all in the same morning?)

The route to school is new. And long. And full of traffic. Including Rafael’s Landscaping, the driver of this vehicle was so safe and doing exactly 4 miles less than the speed limit. On any other day, I would have remarked on his thoughtfulness and safe driving. Today, as the minutes ticked closer to 8:15 – I cursed as he muddled his way through the neighborhood streets. I’m sorry I called you an idiot under my breath so the children wouldn’t hear. I only wanted to get my son to school on time and not have to do the walk of shame THROUGH the office to retrieve a tardy slip. How horrible is it that my son was late for his FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL??

I had the entire route planned out. I wanted to drop Evan off first – then make my way over to Brody’s school. I wanted to hug them both and assure them their day would be wonderful. Instead, Evan and I walked Brody to his classroom – through the office (walk of shame) and got lectured by the principal about parents walking kids to their classrooms on the first day of school. bah.

I cried on the way to Evan’s school for several reasons. It was emotional leaving Brody at the school for first grade (NOT Grade one, as I was taught). I was embarassed for getting him to school late. I was frustrated over the length of the drive!  And finally, let’s not forget how sorry I feel for myself when I am homesick.

Eventually, all boys were dropped off at school and I made my way back home. During the drive, I didn’t even want to sing to the radio … I listened and reflected on how quickly time passes. I don’t regret any of the past events that brought my children to me. I love them. I’m a lucky momma and I will never forget it. All of the emotions were worth it.

Minnie… poor hormonal, lonely Minnie

The rest of the kittens left yesterday. Honestly, I thought Minnie would be happy about it. The kittens were born on May 15th, so she’s spent quite a bit of time looking after them. I likened her to a stay at home mom whose children finally, FINALLY started first grade.  She could finally sleep without being attacked; she could eat all she wanted; she didn’t have to constantly clean their butts. She would be living the good life! She’d accomplished something, she had babies – she experienced nursing, experienced motherhood! She could feel good about herself and move on to do macrame and take classes on worm composting and preparing healthier meals for her family.

That’s what I would do.

The crying started at about 5:30 am and has not stopped. She’s looked in all of their hiding places, she’s cried all day long. What do you do for a hormonal cat whose last baby has gone to a new home? Well, you book her for an appointment at the vet to be fixed, that’s what. I thought I would add more lemon juice to her very raw heart and have her ovaries removed so she had more to cry about. No no no.. I’m kidding! If I was really cruel, I’d have her declawed too.

I feel bad for Minnie, but I know what she’s going through. My kids have been in Canada since the end of June and while I’ve not spent entire days crying or searching for them in their hiding spaces, I have felt the lonlieness Minnie is feeling right now. My boys are having the time of their life with their grandparents. They are growing and gaining experiences that I could never provide for them. They are establishing an undeniable bond with my parents and creating memories that will live in their hearts and minds for the rest of their lives. These summers are something I will never take away from them or my family. But I miss them. I can’t help it.

I wonder if Minnie wants a glass of wine?

Being a Single Parent

The hardest part about being a single parent is having enough patience to get you through the day. Now, I understand this is a big adjustment for everyone. It will take some time for us all to get into our routines, etc. It wasn’t like we had an exhausting day – but after 12 straight hours of doing NOTHING, one tends to get edgy (one being Brody) and needs to be out! near people! other people! Again, Evan and I could lounge our entire day away but Brody is a social animal.

He wanted me to take him to Target because I have 10 dollars of his in my wallet – he can’t see it or touch it, yet it’s still burning a hole in his pocket (he’s just like my dad). He wants to buy more toys he won’t play with … apparently he doesn’t know what Target does to his momma. This was the main reason I started buying Melaleuca products on a monthly basis… not because they are good for the environment or work amazing (those were qualifiers though) – but because I couldn’t take the 200$ trips to Target anymore. I am a sucker for that store and everything inside of it! I especially love the cheap-o dollar items as you first walk in the store – that’s FAB!

Since I needed some items for lunches, Brody had to settle with Safeway. Both boys love to get inside the cart and have me lug them up and down every aisle – begging for crap they know we don’t buy. As we walked into the store - past the carts, Brody started whining. “I want to ride in the cart! wah! horrible mother who makes me walk 10 feet to the apples! wah! I don’t want to walk anywhere! wah!” Have I mentioned that both boys are about 50lbs? I’m not complaining, but on a Sunday evening (after a successful BBQ the day before where many beers were consummed) and after writing a paper, I just wasn’t feeling like pushing those two around safeway for an hour. I know… I’m such a party pooper!

Back to the patience. Once the boys smell weakness, they attack with the ferocity of lions. It’s 7:00 pm on a Sunday evening for goodness sakes! I’m tired! Just let me get apples and salami and get the heck out of there! Since they don’t watch where they are going, I am forced to direct them and point them to where I want to end up. At one point Brody actually swatted my hand away. Can I just say that little kids generally do NOT watch where they are going and it’s annoying and embarrassing as their parent (especially as their mother). Picture me holding a basket in one hand and directing two wandering kids with the other. And the whining! Dear god the whining! It just doesn’t stop.

At that point, I think I could have left them. Every parent has those times when they could take or leave their child(ren) and Safeway was one of those times when I wish I hadn’t even left the house. It’s best to stay within the comforts of your own home when the kids are like this. I’m sure I could have scrounged up a cheese and pickle sandwich for lunch… or a “just jam!” for Brody. What was I thinking when I took the lions out of their den? Thankfully we all arrived home in one piece and I did what any parent would have done. I sent them outside to the backyard to play for an hour before bed… it was either that or give them away to the next person to walk by…

Tortilla Chips

Setting the stage:

Momma asks “who wants chips and salsa?” Brody says “Me!” 

So I pour the salsa in a bowl, put some chips in another bowl… and this is how the conversation progressed.

Brody (after realizing there are triangle chips NOT round chips in the bowl): Momma! I want round chips! Where are the round chips?
Momma: Brody, all tortilla chips taste the same no matter what their shape is. Unless the chips are a different color – then they have a different taste.
Brody: I want round chips (now heightening his voice to a whine) I only like round chips. Round chips taste the best!!!  (much whining ensues)
Momma: Brody, trust me – all tortilla chips taste the same! Just try one, I guarantee you’ll like it. Have I ever steered you wrong?
Brody: No! I like round chips only!
Momma: I’ve already told you – we don’t have round chips. I do have blue chips – do you want to try them?
Brody: No! No no no round chips! I want round chips!

Sidenote: I had this same issue with a recipe we got from the hippies for a lemon pound cake. The recipe was like 100 years old, had all of 6 ingredients and is the BEST cake ever. Brody watched us all eat it, me, his dad, Evan… we all had a piece. I brought a bite over to Brody who refused to even put his tongue on the cake. It was so ridiculous his dad had to hold him down while I shoved the cake in his mouth. I did this because I knew he’d like the cake – he is so unwilling to try new food (only for me though, his grandma in Canada doesn’t have this issue AT ALL). When I was a kid, cake was special – it signified a special occasion. To a kid… cake is the ultimate treat!

Here’s where we wrestle. I have a tortilla chip with salsa in my hand and I encourage him to just try 1 bite! Just one bite! I bring the garbage closer to him and ensure him he can spit it right out if it doesn’t taste the same. It goes on like this for 10 minutes. I have come to realize that Brody would not try anything new (food wise) unless I force him to try it.  Here’s where it gets really good…

Brody: Can I have a pop?
Momma: Yep, but you have to try the triangle chips first.
Brody: Momma! That’s not fair!
Momma: Yes it’s fair, try a chip.

Picture my sweet little boy making gagging noises and the most horrible faces that would scare the biggest monsters — all while he whines about how unfair it is! How he wants a pop! How he doesn’t like triangle chips! How he only likes round chips! Why didn’t I buy round chips! Go to the store!

Brody: Ok, I’ll try one chip.

Momma holds the chip for him to bite… he takes a bite and a huge smile shows up on his face! We start to giggle as Brody realizes his momma was right, triangle chips taste the same as round chips. Mommy wins another round!

Baseball Update

Here is Brody playing baseball

and

Here is Evan playing baseball

Let’s just say that Evan spends a lot more time at the concession stand or in the stands than he does swinging a bat or throwing a ball. I think he’s too young for baseball – it just doesn’t hold his interest. Which is a SHOCKER because we all thought he’d take to the sport quickly. We thought Brody would be the tough nut to crack. Evan LOVES the concession stand, they sell hotdogs. He makes me take the weiner out of the bun – so I give the bun to his baby cousin. Maybe he’ll get the hang of it because he can throw a ball with amazing speed and accuracy. I just wish he gave a crap!!  He really doesn’t and it’s very funny to watch. Their games are about 1.5 hours long and I would say that is 45 minutes longer than they should be. These are 5 and 6 year old kids – they don’t have the fortitude to pay attention to anything for longer than an hour.

Thankfully, the whining has stopped and they now get dressed for baseball with minimal yelling and begging (from their father). I make sure the uniforms are washed (because, seriously… who else would?) I know Brody loves being a part of this team, he’s having a ton of fun and that makes me very happy.

Rambling on…

Sometimes, the hardest part of this blog is coming up with a title. Most often, I write the entire post – then have to read it a few times to figure out an appropriate title. Whatever!

Work has been going well. I had applied and interviewed for another job (same company, etc) and was then told the position was being reposted. I applied again and am now waiting to hear if I got the job. I hope I do. It will be the first time in my career that I will not be working in an admin position. I don’t love being an admin – but i’m really good at it, so it makes my days easy. I am ready for a change. Considering I’ve spent so much time in school trying to better myself and my earning capability, this appears to be a good opportunity to start cashing in on the hard work that I’ve done for the past two years.

Anyway, it’s something different.

Things at home are settling down. Michael and I really need to work on being friends. We go through phases -  first we are – then we aren’t. I’m assuming this is normal. He’s been under a lot of stress lately and I’m disgruntled with our living situation, so it makes for a few arguments. Plus, he and I are really different in that he loves to use sarcastic humor to lighten situations (who doesn’t) but he’s using it at the wrong times. Whatever. I’m trying to be more patient and I’ve asked him to stop making jokes out of everything.

His dad is still in ICU so this has prompted Michael into protection mode over his mom. I’m really proud of him for taking this stand on her behalf. She needs him right now, he may not like “living with his parents” but I think in this case, it’s essential. Plus, the boys are freaking out over getting to live at Grandpa’s house! You see, Grandpa has lots of cool things! Lots of stuff they can look through! I know this will be a good situation for everyone.  Plus, their cousins are close by which means “new people to wrestle with!”

The other night Evan and Brody decided to wrestle in their bedroom. Basically, they spread all the blankets on their floor, take their shirts off and run around screaming “you want a piece of me” and “it’s wrestle time!” Evan was in the process of whining and crying about Brody hitting him and I said to Evan “well, hit him back.” Evan doesn’t realize his own strength and Brody will continue to push him around because Evan doesn’t do anything about it. Evan is built like a brick shit house. Strong, but in a scary way – like my brother (Bob could life me at my waist without effort).  After I told Evan to hit Brody back, an evil grin came over him and he ran out of the office with his arms swinging like a windmill.  I recognized that grin (I might have had one myself a few times) so I followed to make sure no one was going to die (not on my watch!). They were locked in battle, Evan was beating the crap out of Brody and somehow, Brody got a burst of strength and pushed Evan off of him. (This wasn’t really wrestling). Badly beaten, Brody pushed Evan, Evan fell back and smashed his head on the bed (which was the worst ‘THUNK’ you could ever imagine) and started to cry. My opportunity for a lesson arrived! I asked the boys who was having fun while they were hitting? No response? Not even one? hmm.. 

Could I assume they’ve learned a valuable lesson about hitting? Sure, I could assume that.
I would be wrong.

Could I assume they will do this again? Of course!
I would be right.

Boys wrestle. That’s what they do.

Another one bites the dust!

Annoying tooth finally left the mouth!

Brody couldn’t be more proud of himself! His first top tooth is gone and now he can do party tricks with his mouth! He’s whistled through the hole where the tooth used to be. Stuck a straw in the empty space.  I was reading on a website that it takes about 2 years for the top teeth to grow in, I’m sure he’ll have more party tricks by the time the tooth comes in.

Baseball Practice – Day 1

Michael decided to sign the boys up for baseball this season. I’m fine with the boys playing sports, in fact, I encourage it. However, I really think you need to find out all the details before you make the leap. You need to find out how much it’s going to cost, when the games are, where you’ll be practicing… the list goes on.

It all started with the registration fee…

Michael assumed it would be around $40 to sign them up for the 3 month season. In fact, it was $125 per boy. He seemed shocked and appalled when I told him I wasn’t paying for half because I was not aware of the large amount of money needed for registration. He had his mom sign the boys up because of her address (I never got this either… don’t you play where you are supposed to play?) – so she walked in, plunked down the $250 and then advised Michael of the amount. Uh… sorry, but I’m not having any part of that at all.  Please note, this amount does not include shoes, gloves (which Evan calls glubs), bats, balls, etc.  Not once did he talk to me about the cost – he said he didn’t know – isn’t that something you find out beforehand?

Today is the first practice, it’s pouring outside. Raindrops as big as Evan’s head are falling down hard. He started trying to get them dressed at 8:30. Phinneas and Ferb was on, which is their favorite show, and neither boy was moving. The morning went something like this:

8:30 am – Mike says “come on boys, let’s get dressed.”  He then jumps in the shower while leaving them parked in front of the tv. (DUH)

8:40 am – “come on boys, let’s get dressed.” He starts getting dressed.

8:50 – “boys, we’re leaving in 20 minutes, come on let’s get dressed.”

Much commotion ensues, Brody cannot find his penis shield (his words), he cannot find the “exercise shorts” that the cup fits into. Evan doesn’t want to get dressed by his own self, he demands that his father help him. Brody is running around naked looking for the shorts – still can’t find the cup. Finally figures out the shorts were put into the dirty laundry basket and dumps that on the floor. Finds the shorts and promptly complains they smell like pee. DEMANDS that I wash them (uh.. no) and I said there isn’t time, he’ll just have to wear normal underwear. MUCH CRYING ENSUES. Evan, miraculously, is dressed and ready to put on his cleats. Let’s remember that these are little boys playing baseball… it’s raining buckets outside – do we think we are practicing today? Is there really a need for cleats?

Brody is still naked and smoke is coming out of Michael’s ears. He is demanding that Brody wear regular underwear – Brody is refusing and is still having an absolute FIT.

9:10 am – Michael can’t find the keys to his truck. He’s lost them (a small poll, who is shocked?) The boys lost the spare set (his words… he let the boys play with the spare set, they lost them – it’s their fault, not his – the adult who thought it was okay for 2 kids to have the keys to his truck).

9:15 am – Brody is still not dressed, Michael has not been able to locate the keys to his truck. Melodie is watching this scenario and secretly giggling inside. She knows where her car keys are – including the spare set!

9:20 am – Brody is dressed! HUZZAH! Michael has not found his keys and begs to use my car. I give in, because of the boys. I help Brody put on his cleats (that he will wear inside the ferry building, which has concrete floors and will most likely be wet because of all the other little boys in their regular shoes)

9:24 am – The boys leave the house, hoping to get to the building by 9:30 to meet with the coach.

Ahh… I love it when a plan comes together. Meanwhile, Michael’s stress level is probably through the roof. The problem is, he could have had everything organized and ready to go – last night. But last night, he surfed the net and watched tv. WHICH IS SO TYPICAL!

I have to say, there are parts of him (and parts of our marriage) that I am going to miss. The unorganized mess that controls his life is not going to be missed at all.