For me, Mother’s Day is all about sleeping in. I don’t need big fancy gifts. I don’t need a card from my husband. Just let me sleep for an extra 1/2 an hour!
I prefer handmade gifts. I prefer some thought and effort when it comes to presents. I will cherish their homemade gifts for my entire life – a bouquet of flowers dies in 4 days. Evan made me a little fridge magnet that looks like a flower – the center of the flower is a picture of him. Brody made me a card at school but can’t find it. I think I might know where it is – I have to find it because he was so sad! After searching the entire truck for his card he ended up flopping himself in his bed – crying. 😦
I tend to do a lot of reflection on Mother’s Day. I’m not going to admit that I might do a little spreadsheet of pros and cons – no no – just kidding! I do love being a mother—It’s challenging and rewarding. In fact, it is the hardest job I have ever had. I always giggle during job interviews when they want an example of resolving a customer issue; I think back to the numerous times I’ve had to take 2 sets of lego wheels away from the boy who has hoarded them and give them to the child who is whining and crying because he has none. Every mom has times when they want to spend ONE day alone – doing whatever they feel like doing, rather than what they HAVE to do. It’s hard to get times like that as a mom. I think about how I used to sleep on Sunday and lounge around all day doing nothing. I totally took those days for granted.
I always knew I wanted children; I used to think that I probably would not find a life partner but would have a baby and raise it baby on my own. I’m glad I have Michael and the boys – knowing what I know now, there is no way I could have done this kid thing on my own. Honestly, had we not gotten pregnant with Evan accidentally – I doubt I would have had a second child. Pregnancy and I just didn’t agree with one another. As it turns out, Evan is my best accident ever! Children are a lot of work, no matter how easy some people think it is to be a parent! Hard work, long hours, no pay – it’s a tough gig. The benefits are what keep you going. I laugh everyday, I’ve always got a story to tell, I’ve got a huge book of experiences and memories that I can refer to whenever I need to laugh or cry. (and I have decorative rocks stuck to my sidewalk with elmer’s glue)
I never realized how difficult being a mom would be. I am suddenly ashamed of myself for all the crap I put my mother (and father) through. Temper tantrums, whining, lying, fighting with my brother – and that was all in one day! I am sure there were days when she wanted to walk out the door and never look back. And really, who could blame her? I ended up being almost exactly like my father and grandfather before him. Headstrong and mouthy – with an attitude. I want to publically thank her for not beating the crap out of me every single day. She had every right to. Back then, my mom had a weapon – at a very early age, she put the fear of “dad” into us. He never hit us, but it was the thought of being spanked. He was a big guy with a big voice – he could scare the crap out of us. I remember one instance when I threw up – the anxiety of waiting for him to come home so I could be punished actually made me throw up. I remember my parents walking into my room and finding me sleeping in a pile of chicken noodle soup.
My kids, well, they think Michael and I are stupid and that we are losing our hearing (and they aren’t even teenagers!). Both children are guilty of smart mouthing us or repeating themselves a million times because they think we didn’t hear them the first 100 times. Today has been a day from hell. I have a paper due (it’s the 2nd to last week of this block of classes – I HATE ELECTIVE CLASSES) and it’s mother’s day. For me, it really hasn’t been anything special. I did (and am doing) a million loads of laundry, trying to research a paper on Antisocial Personality Disorder, making dinner AND relax before I have to work next week. I am not ungrateful – it’s just how my days usually go. I’m either working at my job or I’m working at my house.
For better or worse, I fulfilled my parents’ dream for me – I had children who are behaving exactly as I did when I was their age.