Michael and I went to the State Fair on Saturday. I have never had such an amazing time at a fair before! I watched a cow in labour, I saw chicks hatching from their eggs, I saw baby kittens and a ton of rabbits! Man, it really makes me want a farm! I spent a fair amount of time on farms while I was growing up, but I don’t think I really appreciated it. In fact, my parents tell a hilarious story about me when I was about 3 years old. My uncle just received a “batch” of chicks and someone accidentally let the cage open; he had about 300 chicks scattered all over the farm. My uncle swore all the time. Dirty dirty words. I guess he called the chicks the other C-word and I ended up trying to call all the chicks back using that word. I know my mother… I bet she was mortified! I was a good talker! hee
While watching the cow go through contractions, a woman approached me and said “wouldn’t you just love to give birth in front of 200 people?” Um, yes, funny you should ask – but I would have LOVED that! Maybe NEXT time I’ll have an audience. A huge, adoring audience.
The “announcer” kept reminding the crowd to use their “quiet” voices because the cow wouldn’t be able to give birth while everyone was making a lot of noise. Did she realize we were at the fair? With a roller coaster? And about a million screaming children? If the cow needed quiet, why didn’t they find a barn for her? What is she, a movie star? She can’t give birth in front of a crowd? Honestly, I don’t blame her. I didn’t need quiet, but I doubt I could have performed as expected with a roller coaster in the background. The woman that spoke with me had her son and niece with her. All three women were mesmerized by the cow in labour. The boy (age 5) was busy making gagging sounds and holding his nose! I told him to go sit by Michael on the bench because Michael couldn’t take the sights either! At one point the cow was contracting and pushing at the same time, so stuff came out of her bum (we’ve all been there ladies) and he was on point gagging and rolling his eyes all while holding his nose! Yet, he did not leave the scene. Fascinating! She never ended up having the calf while I was there, Michael was so impatient and wanted to see a movie – so we had to leave.
In order to really freak my boss out, I had a lady put a Mehndi design on my hand. Everyone is so cultural here at work, I’ve been asked 10 times if I’ve been to an Indian wedding! It looks amazing and it is so pretty that I cannot stop looking at it. I teased Michael that I loved it so much, I was thinking of heading down to have it tattooed on permanently! He almost died.
Price of Mehndi design: $20
Prince of new Tattoo: $250
Scaring your husband half to death: Priceless