I spent this past weekend in Vancouver visiting a friend. Over the course of the weekend, I discovered that I really don’t have much to talk about. I can carry on conversations if someone else brings up the topic. However, to start a new conversation with someone – well, that’s a completely different ball game.
I have two things that I can talk about. Divorce and children. If I want to be able to carry on intelligent conversations with adults I’m going to need more things to talk about. I told Laura (friend I came to visit) I feel completely uninteresting. I don’t know any gossip, I don’t read a lot of magazines or books (educational hazard), I don’t watch a lot of tv (again, in school – whose got the time?), and I don’t have a lot of friends. So… my entire conversational skills revolve around my divorce, my children, or algebra. Not exactly conversation starters.
As I walk along my current path this is one of those roadblocks that I will need to get around. I don’t know who I am anymore, all the words I used to describe myself no longer apply. I am a single mom – a newly single mom – I’m insecure, totally unconfident, and completely wrapped in my own misery. Alright, where do I start the line for people who’ll want to line up to talk to me?? Over to the left? Anyone??
I’m off to Vegas in a few weeks (YAY) and have decided that I’m going to spend some time researching and discovering who I am and what I like to talk about. I want to have actual topics in place so that I’m not out somewhere and completely unprepared for discussion. God I’m a dork. duh!