Still in the process

June 3, 2009 at 2:38 pm (Divorce, Melodie)

I suck at updating this blog lately. I used to blog all the time, I had a rhythm – I was remotely funny. Now, it seems it’s all I can do to remember my lunch for work.  Some days, I forget the damn thing in the fridge and end up having to eat out.

I would have to say, after 8 months or so, that I am still in the process of defining myself and who I am.  I am still recovering and still healing. I thought recovering from losing my marriage wouldn’t have taken such a long time. I know 8 months isn’t a long time, I just thought it would take less time than it is taking. It makes me wonder how long it will take. Any soothsayers out there?

In 25 days I am taking the boys to Canada so they can spend a large portion of their summer with my parents. Brody is constantly asking “how many more days” and mom is emailing “26 more days!”  I’m not sure what Evan thinks about it, I have a feeling he’s too lazy to even consider pondering what his summer will be like. As long as he can sit on the couch and order up more chocolate milk, I doubt he even cares where he is spending his summer. He could spend it in a box down by the river – as long as that box had a never ending supply of chocolate milk, he’d be happy.

In 32 days, I will be without children for the summer. I have lofty goals:

  1. Get my poop in a group (it’s been roaming aimlessly)
  2. Organize the office/craft room
  3. Have new floors installed (I am dreading the amount of work this means for me)
  4. Organize the garage (all of Michael’s things MUST go to Michael’s house)
  5. Personalize the house (this sounds silly, but I’m bored with it and the way it is now reminds me too much of my past life)
  6. Make some new friends (god darn it!)
  7. Exercise more and eat better (or exercise better and eat more)

I guess they probably don’t look too lofty, but they feel lofty. Trust me. I currently have as much motivation as Evan does to help me with the household chores (ie. none). I’d also like to do some camping and maybe head to So-Cal to visit some friends.  I really wanted to go to my cousin’s wedding but it’s in Edmonton and I didn’t want to risk seeing the boys midway through their visit with my parents for fear they’d want to come home with me.  Not that I don’t love them, but I want them to have their summer of freedom – rather than being stuck in daycare the entire time.

Maybe I’ll find the motivation. Maybe once the boys are in Canada I’ll be able to focus on myself and getting things in order. Maybe.

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2 Comments

  1. Christina said,

    Oh wow! Im here to talk if you get lonely with them gone.
    Also, let me know if I can help you with taking the house back. I’d love to if I can.
    oxox

  2. Juanita said,

    I think if you start with the garage organization, the rest will be a breeze, and I also think that will be 1/2 of personalizing the house. Have fun baby girl while your poor mother is doing upteen loads of laundry every day, cooking for a crowd & still working. I LOVE it. I’m soo excited.Love Mommy

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