I overheard two men talking on the train this morning. One guy asked the other “how are you?” the man responded ‘well, it’s Friday.’ I had to turn my head to see the bumpus that spoke those words. What exactly does that mean? That is no way to answer a question. I find this so irritating! Just answer the question! Don’t make us guess how you are feeling – or is it that you think no one gives a crap anyway?
People usually don’t believe me when I tell them I am incredibly shy. I am slowly earning self esteem, but I really don’t have the confidence in myself to start a conversation etc. Fortunately, I had parents who forced me to have good social skills. They forced me to be nice to people, to look people in the eye when I had conversations with them. I feel I was lucky to have parents who cared what other people thought. My parents wanted to have kids who were well liked – mom always said it was for our sake. I think she knew it would make our lives easier. There were societal standards to live up to. Expectations. Consequences for our actions. She was right.
I am raising my children with those same expectations. When someone asks you a question, you can answer any way you feel, but you must say something. Because of this, my children respond when people ask them questions. They know how to order food in a restaurant; they know how to ask for more water; they are well liked. I am also teaching my children how to be comfortable NOT answering a question. That it is okay for them to say “I don’t want to answer that question.” They may not be rude about it, they must use their manners – but no one is going to force them to answer a question they aren’t comfortable answering. This may not be relevant to their age today, but it will be relevant later in life. Not only will they know how to be respectful of the other person, but more importantly they will be conscious and respectful of their own feelings.
In today’s society, nobody gives a shit anymore. You can answer a question with “well, it’s Friday” and get away with it. I think it’s crap.
Since stopping sugar (and caffeine) I’ve had very little rage. I think, in order to have perfect peace and harmony in my life, I need to stop the train too.
The train is supposed to be convenient. Better for the environment, cheaper… blah blah blah. It’s all bullshit! Well, maybe it is all of these things but today… today it was a pain in my ass. My usual morning ritual was changed because I have a hair appointment. This means instead of the boys driving me and dropping me at the station, i needed to drive my own self. No big deal. I left 10 minutes earlier than I usually do, got to the station on time… only to find that the 723 train was running 5 minutes behind. It actually showed up at 730. Then the driver (for some unknown reason) proceeded to drive like a 95 year old man wearing a hat. You know those drivers.
I’m all for safety! I choose life! But stopping in between stops, lurching lurching at around 2 mph was beyond ridiculous. A train ride that is supposed to take 33 minutes took 45 minutes (running 7 minutes late). I’m no math wizard, but that made me 15 minutes late for work. Don’t ask me how I got that number (I just said I wasn’t a math wizard).
Now, this next part isn’t the train systems fault… but the guy sitting next to me smelled nasty. He had that “musty-haven’t had a shower in 2 weeks-coffee breath” kind of smell to him. Hey… I’ve been there! I’m sure I’ve had some smelly days… but on those days I don’t usually leave the house! But come on PEOPLE! You are in public! On public transportation! Give a girl a break for goodness sakes! At least brush your teeth!
I think I might be a little snarly after that train ride… hmm
I don’t exactly live in the most courtiest of places (is that even a word?). People never really say “thank you” or “excuse me.” I remember holding the door open in San Francisco for this little old lady (yes, she had a walker) and 15 people pushed her aside to walk through the door I was holding open… not a single person said excuse me or thank you. I got really mad and ended up saying “yep, it’s no problem over here.. I’ll hold the door open for you all day!” Yikes.
Could it be that the area I live in is changing? That maybe, just maybe, people are brushing off their manners and actually taking them out for a spin? I think I may have witnessed the very first instance of courtesy in the Bay Area. I almost fell out of my chair this morning. Good think I didn’t because had I done that, there would have been a stampede to my empty seat. An unusual occurrence happened when a young woman (around my age, ahem) got on the train. There were no available seats (as usual) so she was forced to stand. Not only was she wearing the highest, spikiest shoes evah – she also had two very large bags of paperback books that she was trying to keep track of. A guy… a young guy, actually stood up and let her have his chair! I was so shocked and pleasantly pleased that he offered her his chair. It gets better, one person was trying to get through the doors that connect the cars and he actually held one of the doors open! It seems to me he was raised properly. Either that or he was working on a merit badge.
Of course, all of this kindness could be undone tonight on the ride home… but I’m keeping my fingers crossed for more good deeds. They don’t go unnoticed you know!
I commuteby train (not as romantic as you’d think) every morning. I’ve decided to start chronicling the weirdos. Because let me tell you… we get our share on the train.
Most people aren’t weirdos… they just do weird things! Today I sat across from a very coiffed lady. She had a beautiful leather coat on. Her hair was perfect. She was touching up her makeup. She was stunning. Then I happened to look down at her feet to see these:
on her feet. That wouldn’t have been so bad, but she had purple nylons on. Not tights. Nylons. First of all, everyone knows that you can not wear nylons or socks with this type of shoe – your foot would slide all over the place! Purple?
Of course, I’m going to look at the bright side – while researching for this post I got to look at shoes and found an excellent source for unique tights and stockings. It’s not all bad right?