It seems I am in the trifecta of a poopy mood. My sciatica is THROBBING, it’s that time of the month and I’ve banged my hand in the same spot TWICE in two days. I think the boys can sense I am weak right now, because they’ve been relentless with me. They are like a predator hunting their prey. I feel as though I’ve done nothing but argue and yell at them for the past 3 days.
Of course, this is not completely single sided. They’ve been arguing and yelling at me for the past 3 days. I am so worn out I can barely write this. Right now, the boys are with their dad at Brody’s baseball game. I had to leave, I needed to spend a little time by myself – regrouping. And having a beer.
I don’t know how to resolve all the yelling. I don’t know where to find the energy the boys need me to have. My sciatica (which I never had until I got pregnant with them) takes all of my energy. I’m in constant pain – anyone who has chronic pain knows exactly what I’m talking about. It drains all of my energy, my patience (I’ll admit, I have very little patience to begin with), it runs me into the ground.
As an introvert, “me” time is fondly referred to as “I” time. I’m not gonna lie – I need a vacation! I need to lie on a deserted beach with a good book. For about 2 weeks. Uninterrupted. Except for the waiter … because someone needs to bring the drinks!
Did I mention we are going to Hawaii in July? Ooh… it must have slipped my mind! The boys were so upset they wouldn’t be coming with us, but they’ll be at their grandparents’ house by then – and honestly, that’s way more important than a silly ol’ trip to Hawaii!!
I believe I have lost all of my motivation for anything other than reading or lying on the couch. I am always affected by the change in seasons, but this year is ridiculous! I think another reason for my lack of motivation is my new job. I am consistently busy every day – by the time I get home, I can barely pull myself together to prepare dinner. I have gone to sleep every night this week with tons of dirty dishes piled on the cupboards.
I am currently reading “Gone with the wind.” No, I have never read the book before. I’ve lived a sheltered existence. It took me about 6 chapters to get used to the language – I still don’t like the language but at least I’ve stopped blushing! I cannot believe this book was required reading in high school (except in my class). All of the racist language and horrible insults. It is a good book though! I have never really thought about the US Civil War before. I mean, I know the Yankees won – but beyond that it really wasn’t a topic I was interested in.
Back to my motivation… Of course, I am totally looking for someone to blame right now. I lost my motivation and am demanding that it be returned to me this instant! I only have 1 class this block and I have noticed that throws me off too. I LOVE one class per block because it makes my life so much more enjoyable – but it also makes me really lazy. I had a 1000 word paper due yesterday and instead of working on it during the week; I did it all last night. You can’t imagine how hard it was for me to write 1000 words on the effects of genes and heredity on human behavior. Bah. Stupid elective class.
Maybe this weekend I will clean the house and try to get rid of the rotting food smell. I should probably clean out the cat’s water thingy… Bristol loves to put pieces of cat food in it. Ewwww floaties!!
Sigh… that’s pretty much the only thing I can do with the energy left in my body. The pink eye has spread to the other eye (I received confirmation today from the doctor who is everything about the eye). He called it “blossomed.” It blossomed to the other eye. Whoop-de-doo.
So this means that I’ll have to endure another 5-6 days of painful, itchy, gooey eye stuff. Did I mention that pink eye comes with flu like symptoms? I have an achy body, congestion, nausea, a sort throat and zero to none energy. Even after eating, I have no energy.
Ok, I’ll stop whining. For now.